I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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