Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Randomize
