I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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