I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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