That's intense
Sponge bath it is.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
