I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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