found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
