why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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