peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
