I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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