but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
