Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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