I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just pee around me
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
