I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
