I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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