ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
