Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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