I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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