Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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