what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
