and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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