Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
