i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
