Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
