At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
