the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
