Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
