You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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