just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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