I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
