My brain says no but my pants say off.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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