my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
