you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
