party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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