After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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