maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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