I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize