How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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