Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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