i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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