I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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