Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
