I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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