For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize