yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
