Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I forget how to act sober
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
