I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize