Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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