I can tuck mytits in my pants
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
