the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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