Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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