I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
