just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
