it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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