My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
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