Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize