yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
