Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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