OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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