To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
