He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
