A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
