I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
