Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
