Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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