Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
