I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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