I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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