So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
