YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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