and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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