is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
