You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
