She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
