Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize