I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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