take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
