i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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