her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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