turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
