I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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