new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
